Goodbye Sweet Moses

I've been avoiding this blog. I just hate what I have to say. But I feel like you should know. The baby we were so privileged to love and take care of for a week this summer died in October. It was Malaria, and it was completely curable. I wrestle between my anger and my sadness over the loss of his life. He was so new to the world, and even in our short time with him, we dreamed big about his future and talked about the ways in which we wanted to stay in his life. I remember the last time I saw him. Shelly, Sarah and I had driven to where he was staying with relatives in order to take him a fresh batch of formula. But really we were all just itching to see him. For the first few minutes it was as if he had not known us at all. It was as if he had forgotten about the package of coconut cookies he almost finished single-handedly or the Sunday afternoon of snuggling with me in the loft or the warm water basin baths or the three sets of arms that rarely let his body lay idle. But within a few minutes his giggle returned, and we were all able to wrap our arms around him once more before having to leave.

I cannot imagine that loving and letting go will get any easier once I am in Uganda for good, but what a precious gift it was to lavish love on Moses for those few days in the summer. Thank you Moses, for being so easy to love. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. May the loving arms of our Lord hold you til I get there.